A Wife's Submission to Her Husband

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Well, it's good that we sang before we come to the passage we come to this morning, "Speak, O Lord, give us a heart of obedience." That song was a perfect setting for where we come to in Ephesians 5 this morning. There are certain passages that are particularly out of step and out of sync with the culture in which we live, and the one we come to this morning is certainly one of the greatest of those. I can promise you there will be things that I say that will run contrary to the culture. They may even upset you. All I ask is that you please check what I say against the Scripture. To whatever extent I reflect that, then you and I both must submit ourselves to what the Lord has said.

Marriage, and specifically the wife's role, is under attack from the culture in which we live. That doesn't come as any surprise to you. The most militant attack obviously comes from the radical feminists. In a famous document entitled "A Declaration of Feminism", a document that was intended to define the sort of feminist agenda, you find these really frightening and sobering words about marriage:

Marriage has existed for the benefit of men and has been a legally sanctioned method of control over women. The end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the liberation of woman. Therefore, it's important for us to encourage women to leave their husband and not to live individually with men. Now we know that it is the institution of marriage that has failed us, and we must work to destroy it.

Now that is a clear frontal assault not only on the role of women but on marriage itself. However, it is true that most of the time the attacks that come on marriage and the wife's role are not so blatant. They are more subtle. Instead of calling for the complete destruction of marriage as that feminist document does, most of the enemies of biblical marriage simply set out to redefine it and reshape it according to the culture. There are those even within the Christian community who refer to themselves often as either evangelical feminists or egalitarians - that is, we're all equal and therefore that should erase, erase all distinctions of authority and submission - who blatantly attack this biblical command for submission.

But regardless of what form it takes, it's important for you to understand that the attack on marriage and on the role of the man and the woman in marriage is as old as time itself. It began in the Garden of Eden as a result of the fall. The problems in your marriage and mine began because of sin and sin entering the human race. Because of sin, the wife is predisposed to try to usurp the authority of her husband in the marriage. And because of sin, the husband is predisposed to exercise some sort of domineering, authoritarian rule that lacks the love and graciousness of our God. So, we enter marriage, all of us, with a natural antagonism to our God-ordained roles. And so, Paul wants to set us straight. Paul wanted the Ephesian believers (and he wants us) to understand God's thinking, God's wisdom about life in the family and in marriage.

In Ephesians 5, you remember that we find ourselves in the middle of a long section. In fact, the second half of the book of Ephesians is there to tell us how to walk worthy of the calling that the first three chapters describe – the amazing reality that we are new in Christ. And we are in the longest section of the second half of the letter, a section that begins in 5:15 and runs all the way down through 6:9. The theme of that longest section in the letter is found in 5:15, "… be careful how you walk, not as unwise but as wise…."

Paul says if you're going to walk worthy of that new position you have in Christ, then you must walk in biblical wisdom. How do we do that? Well, there were several ways that he uncovered for us, but he was really leading to one primary way, and that's in verse 18; that is, we must be filled by the Spirit with the Word of God, and we looked at that in great length. If you weren't here for that study, I encourage you to go online and listen because a lot of what I'll say today sort of flows out of that.

Be under the influence of the Spirit. And when we're under the influence of the Spirit, there are certain consequences or results that just happen. One of those consequences we discovered a couple of weeks ago is a heart of submission. Look at verse 21, "and … [being] subject to one another in the fear of Christ." When we are filled by the Spirit with the word, when we're under His influence, we will be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Now we learned in our study of that verse a couple of weeks ago that means we are to voluntarily submit ourselves to all God-ordained authorities in our lives and we're to submit to those human authorities out of fear for Christ, fear of Christ.

Now submission to duly constituted human authority has fallen on very hard times. This is a huge problem in contemporary society at all levels, whether you're talking children to parents or wives to husbands or church members to elders or students to teachers or employees to employers or citizens to government. I don't care what human structure that God has set up you want to talk about. At every level, our culture is permeated by a stubborn refusal to submit to those whom God has sovereignly placed over us in positions of authority.

But as we discovered, the principle of submission to authority is absolutely foundational in the world in which we live. Why? Well, as we discovered a couple of weeks ago, it's because this authority-submission concept is rooted in the character of God. Listen to Wayne Grudem.

The idea of headship and submission never began (now you got to put on your thinking cap. Let me read that again. The idea of headship and submission never began). It has always existed in the eternal nature of God Himself. And in this most basic of all authority relationships, authority is not based on gifts or ability. It's just there. The relationship between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is one of leadership and authority on the one hand and voluntary, willing, joyful submission to that authority on the other hand. [Grudem goes on to say] We can learn from this that submission to a rightful authority is a noble virtue. It is a privilege. It is good and desirable. It is the virtue that has been demonstrated by the eternal Son of God forever. It is His glory, the glory of the Son as He relates to His Father.

So, God then, has established this comprehensive system of authority and submission in His world and it is a reflection of His own eternal person and the relationship among the members of the Trinity. So, when a person is under the influence of the Spirit, he or she sees those who are over him or her in authority as exercising an authority given to them by God. And because they want to submit to God, they submit to the authority He has placed over them.

Now the rest of this section that began in 5:15 and goes to 6:9 – the rest of this section will give us examples of what it looks like to live in several different, (actually three different) forms of authority and submission. Paul identifies three relationships of authority and submission in the following verses.

Notice, first of all, wives and husbands beginning in verse 22 and running through the end of chapter 5.

The second authority-submission relationship he identifies is in 6:1 to 4 and its children and parents.

The third category comes in 6:5 - 9. It's slaves and masters. The closest parallel in our culture would be employers and employees.

Now, as Paul sets out to examine the principles of submission, submission to God-honoring authority, God-constituted authority, notice he begins with the wife and her response to her husband, so that's where we'll begin as well. Ephesians 5:21. I'll pick up there,

and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Now a wife has other responsibilities to her husband and children other than to submit. In fact, if you want a full list, you want to see how it's delineated, go to Titus 2 – not this morning, but in your own study. That's another study for another time. There are other responsibilities, but here Paul is dealing with the whole idea of submission being an overflow of being under the influence of the Spirit, and so, he deals with the matter of submission in this text. He reminds every Christian wife that you are not the God-appointed authority in your home; your husband is. And you are to acknowledge his rightful position of authority and submit your will to it. That's the big picture.

Now, let's take this apart a little more in depth. First of all, as we look at this passage, I want you to see what does it mean to submit. What does it mean to submit? Notice verse 22 borrows its verb from verse 21. If you'll notice in our English text, the word "be subject" there in verse 22 are in italics. That means the translators have supplied them because the verb is borrowed from the previous verse. "Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ (and here's an example, Paul says). Wives, to your own husbands ..." The verb is "be subject". Now it's in the present tense. This means it's the constant duty of every wife. It doesn't change. It's a constant, persistent duty. It's also an imperative, understood here as an imperative. It's not optional. This isn't like something you can opt in or opt out depending on your mood at the moment.

Also, men it's very important for us to see that this command is addressed not to us, but to our wives. As husbands, we are not called to force our wives to submit. Submission is to be the voluntary response of her own heart in obedience to her Lord, to her Lord Jesus Christ.

Now what does it mean to submit? Before I look at what it means, I want to tell you what it doesn't mean because this text has been twisted and abused in a variety of ways. Let me just give you briefly a couple of things that it doesn't mean for a Christian wife to submit to her husband.

Number one: it does not mean that a wife should tolerate physical abuse. If your husband, and I give this advice from time to time - if your husband is physically abusive, ladies, use the other authorities God has placed in your life for your protection. Call the elders. Let us get involved. Call the police and have him arrested. Romans 13 says the government exists to punish evildoers. Don't protect him from the consequences of his sinful choices. Submission does not mean that you have to tolerate any kind of physical abuse. If you sense you're in physical danger, then leave. The Old Testament law allowed a person who was in danger to go so far as to take the life of the other person if necessary. So, we certainly argue then from the greater to the lesser that it's permissible for you to get out of that situation and to leave and protect yourself and your family. So, it's not an excuse for something like that.

Secondly: it does not mean that you should sin in submission to your husband. Acts 4, Acts 5, we looked at those a couple of weeks ago, make it clear that you must obey God rather than any man. You are not responsible to submit to your husband if he commands you do what the Bible forbids or if he commands you not to do what the Bible commands.

A third thing submission does not mean is: it does not mean that you should never confront your husband about a pattern of unrepentant sin in his life. If you have a believing husband, and that's a key factor – if your husband professes Christ, then Matthew 18 is as valid for you as it is for anyone else. If you see a pattern of unrepentant sin in your husband's life, you do it gently, you do it graciously, you do it humbly, you do it as one who is under authority, but you must challenge him about that sin in his life – not nag him, but follow the process outlined in Matthew 18. So, it doesn't mean that you just ignore those patterns of sin, unrepentant patterns of sin.

So, what does it mean to submit then? If it doesn't mean those things, what does it mean? Well, the Greek word "be subject" here literally means (that's in verse 21 and borrowed in verse 22), literally means to order one's self under someone in authority; to voluntarily put your will under the will of someone who is above you in rank. It's always used of a person in authority; and it's often used in military settings like a private would do to a sergeant or a sergeant to those above him in the line of command. It's intentionally placing yourself under, (in order of rank), the will of another. It means to willingly take on a subordinate role. It is to acknowledge the rightful authority of that person and then to voluntarily order yourself under that authority.

Wives, this is the universal New Testament exhortation to wives. Every New Testament passage that deals with the relationship of a wife to her husband tells her to submit to him and always with this same Greek word. It's very clear here in Ephesians 5:22 - same word in Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1 and 5, Titus 2:4 and following. Every time this word, every time the husband-wife relationship is mentioned and the responsibilities, this concept appears.

In spite of that however, there are voices in the Christian church today who say that this command is outdated. It reflects the thinking of the first century. It was temporary, and it's not for today. If that's true (and it's not), but if it were true, it means that every time this is brought up and the arguments on which it's based would be temporary, tied to the culture in the first century. What you find is exactly the opposite. Every time Paul gives a defense of this position, of this command, he ties it to a biblical argument that is rooted in something eternal or at least eternal in the sense of throughout time in this life.

What are they? Number one: the order of creation. When he argues for this responsibility for a wife toward her husband, he cites the order of creation. First Corinthians 11:8 - man was created first and then the woman; therefore the woman is to submit to the man. This was God's divine order in creation.

A second argument he uses is: it's the design of the woman to be a helper. She was designed for that purpose. First Corinthians 11:9 - and of course he's tying back to Genesis 2. Because of that, she should submit to her husband. So, it's part of the creative intent of God is his point.

Here in Ephesians 5, a third reason he gives us for this issue is: that it fits Christ's lordship over His church. We'll talk more about that in coming weeks.

A fourth reason in Colossians 3:18 is: that it is fitting for a woman who is under Christ's lordship.

A fifth reason in Titus 2:1 is: that it is in keeping with sound doctrine.

Those are the biblical arguments Paul uses for a wife's submission to her husband. Now you tell me. Are those temporary? The divine order of creation; the design of the woman to be a helper; Christ's lordship over His church; it's fitting for a woman under Christ's lordship; it's in keeping with sound doctrine. Not a single one of those arguments is based on something temporal or cultural but rather on a timeless reality. So, the command for authority and submission in marriage is not a temporary cultural matter tied to the first century. It is reflected in the divine design of the creation and redemption. And so there are no options. This is the reality. This is what God commands of every Christian wife. Honestly, it's what He commands of every wife, but particularly of every Christian wife.

Now ladies, let me just say that practically when you hear this command as I've explained it to you, there are several temptations for either wrong or sinful responses. Let me tell you what they are because you could be led down this path. One sinful response is simply to reject it outright and to continue to struggle for the position of authority in your marriage and home. You will be running contrary to the clear commands of Jesus Christ if you do that – couldn't be any clearer.

A second sinful response is: to say, "Okay. I believe that. Sure. I need to submit to my husband. It's everywhere in Scripture. I see that" and then to pretend submission, but to use all kinds of subtle techniques to manipulate your husband to still get your way in the marriage. That runs absolutely contrary to the spirit of this text and every other text that speaks on the issue. You can't merely pretend submission and still be working your scheme to get your way.

A third sinful response or at least wrong response: I'm not sure this one would be sinful; it would just be a misunderstanding – to mistake submission for never giving counsel or sharing your concern with your husband. Some ladies read this passage, they learn about it, particularly first generation Christians. They hear this, and they think, "Oh, well, you know, my husband's about to make a bad decision, but I'm not going to say anything. I want to be submissive." Please say something. Okay?

I can tell you my best counselor is my wife. I want to know what she's thinking because she sees things I don't see. So, it doesn't mean you don't say anything. It doesn't mean you keep your mouth shut if your husband's about to do something stupid. And we do, right guys? Alright. No good leader, listen carefully - no good leader in any position of authority wants a bunch of yes people around him. They want to know. They want to have good counsel, wise counsel. They'll take that into consideration and make a decision. That's what a good leader does. So ladies, don't think you ought to just be quiet and not say something that ought to be said. Now obviously, do it in the right spirit, the right way, but we need your counsel and advice.

A fourth wrong response is: to make submission (or I should say to mistake submission) for becoming kind of like a doormat. You know what I mean? A wallflower doormat. You know what I'm talking about, "I need to, you know, not say anything. I need to lose my personality. I just need to …" That's not the idea at all. That's not submission. Submission is voluntarily putting yourself under your husband who has been assigned a higher rank in your marriage. That's what submission is.

And by the way, this isn't second class. I love this. This exact same verb "be subject" that you're commanded to do here, wives, is used of Christ's submission to the authority of the Father in 1 Corinthians 15:28. Christ subjects Himself to the Father – exact same Greek word. That proves that this has to do with role and absolutely nothing to do with inferiority; voluntarily putting yourself under your husband who, by God, has been assigned a higher rank in your home and in your marriage.

Second question – to whom are wives to submit? Look at verse 22, "… to your own husbands …" By the way, that same expression is used every time this command is given. It's used here, in Colossians 3:18, in Titus 2:5, in 1 Peter 3:1 and 5 – being subject to your own husband. Now there are a couple of implications of that expression. One implication is that no wife is excluded. If you have a husband, then you're responsible to obey this command. You know, I've heard wives say something like this to me, "Well, you just don't know my husband." Well, maybe not, but God does, and God says, "Wives (without exception), be subject to your own husband...."

There's another implication here and that is: that wives are not subject to all men, only to their own husbands. Nowhere does the Scripture teach that every woman must submit to every man in every situation. In fact, only in the marriage and in the church is leadership restricted to men. Ladies, you are not required to treat every man in your life as if he were in a position of authority over you. You are simply to submit yourselves to those who are in a position of authority over you. And in marriage, that's your own husband.

Now guys, let me just talk to us for a moment about this because we can take this text and run a lot further than Paul does with it. There are guys who read this text and sort of develop a Napoleonic complex. You know, they think that all women should do everything they say. That isn't at all the spirit of Ephesians 5. This text is not teaching that women are inferior to men or less intelligent or less spiritual. It is not teaching the subjugation of all women to all men; instead, it is teaching a divine order and structure within a family. You are responsible to submit your will to your husband, your own husband.

You say, "What if he's not a believer?" There are some of you here whose husbands are not believers. What do you do then? The responsibility is the same. Turn over to 1 Peter, 1 Peter 3. Peter touches on this very issue. First Peter 3:1. He's talking here about submission, Peter is, and he says,

In the same way, you wives (this is 1 Peter 3:1, in the same way, you wives), be submissive to your own husbands (there's the same expression, why?) so that (now this isn't the only reason to do it, but this is one reason to do it, so that) even if any of them are disobedient to the word (in other words, they're unbelievers), they may be won (underline this) without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Listen. By keeping your mouth shut, not preaching to your husband but living a life that honors Christ and being submissive to your own husband with this spirit, Peter says they can be won at times without a word simply by the behavior of their wives. This isn't a promise. It doesn't happen every time. I wish I could tell you that, ladies, but it's still right to do. And guess what? It can happen after a long time when you're tempted to give up.

One of my favorite stories of this comes from some friends that Sheila and I had in California – Ron and Shirley. After twenty years, Ron was an avowed atheist, an avowed agnostic later. He was an aggressive international businessman, businessman in arms parts sales and purchasing. And after all that time - twenty years of marriage, an atheist and an agnostic, nothing to do with his wife's faith - he came to genuine faith in Christ when he was with us in Israel a number of years ago. Shirley admitted that for a number of years she didn't practice 1 Peter 3; instead, she preached at her husband. And then she came across this passage, and she realized the best way she could preach to her husband was by keeping her mouth shut and by living this kind of life. Her constant preaching only had alienated him.

But when she came to understand this verse and to faithfully practice it over many years, she believes that's what the Lord used to bring her husband to Christ. Today, every time I go out to Grace Community Church, and I worship there, I see her singing in the choir, and I run into her husband passing out bulletins. He's a faithful usher, devoted Christian, devoted husband. That's the Lord's plan. To whom are you to submit? To your own husband.

Third question – with what attitude should you submit? Look at verse 22, back in Ephesians 5:22, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." You are to submit to your own husband as if your husband were the Lord Himself. Now that doesn't mean that your husband becomes some kind of replacement for Jesus Christ, and you owe him the same level of allegiance as Christ. Your submission to Christ must always be at a higher level than your allegiance to your husband. So, what does it mean? Well, I think Alexander Strauch was right when he said, "This little phrase tells us that a wife's submission to her husband is a part of her submission to Jesus Christ, her Lord." When you submit to your husband, you're to do it with the attitude as I am doing this not primarily for my husband, but I'm also doing it for the Lord I love.

This picture is developed in Colossians – not in the husband-wife relationship, but in the submission of a believing slave to his master. Now obviously wives are not slaves, but the godly attitude that should accompany submission to any authority should be the same for the wife. Turn over to Colossians 3 and look at the attitude of submission that's encouraged here. Colossians 3:22. Different relationship, same attitude:

Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord [now watch verse 23]. Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men [there's that same idea – as to the Lord. And then in verse 24, he explains it], knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.

Wives, when you submit your will to your husband, when you serve him, when you follow the commands of Scripture in terms of your relationship to your husband, understand and have the mindset, the attitude, that you're not merely serving your husband. You are serving your Lord Jesus Christ. That's the attitude you're to bring in your submission to your husband.

Now there's another comment about attitude down in Ephesians 5. Look down at the very last verse of Ephesians 5. Here is a summary of the wife's duty. Verse 33, "Nevertheless … the wife must see to it that she [what her husband? what?] respects her husband." That's the summary Paul gives of what we're studying together. She is to have an attitude of respect. You see, there are many Christian wives who begrudgingly submit to their husbands, but they don't respect him. You are commanded to have an attitude in your heart as if you were serving Christ and of respect.

Paul doesn't ask, ladies, if your husband is worthy of respect. He may not be. And at times, none of us are. He doesn't ask whether or not you feel respectful. He doesn't ask whether or not you're more intelligent than your husband (you may be) or more capable than your husband (you may be). He doesn't even raise the issue of whether you're more spiritual and godly than your husband (you may be). He commands instead that you make a decision to obey God by choosing to respect your husband as you do Christ.

By the way, if you will work at following this command, you'll find more things in your husband to respect than you think. Listen to Nancy Wilson, writing to ladies. She says,

It has been wisely stated obedience (to this command of respect) is the opener of eyes. Discontent blinds women to the many good qualities in their husbands, but when gratitude and respect are cultivated for their husbands, wives find more and more to respect.

Rare is the man who doesn't have something that's worth respecting and you're commanded to do it anyway. Let me ask you ladies. What would your husband say if I asked him how well you do at respecting him? That's to be the attitude of submission – as to the Lord.

Fourth question – for what reason are wives to submit? For what reason? Verse 23, "For the husband is the head of wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body." Your submission is not conditioned on your husband loving you like Christ loves the church. Notice carefully what Paul says. He doesn't say the husband ought to be the head of the wife. He doesn't say the husband should be the head of the wife. He says he is the head of his wife in the same way that Christ is the head of the church. It's a reality. It's true whether you like it or not, whether you see it or not, whether you notice it or not. It doesn't matter; it's a reality. As one author says,

Arguing with the fact of the husband's headship in the home is like jumping off a cliff in order to quarrel with the law of gravity. Marshal the arguments on the way down however you like. You will eventually find yourself refuted in a messy way.

It's a reality. He is the head. God made him that. Now what does this mean? The word "head" is the common Greek word that's used for our physical heads since the head is at the top of the body, since it directs the activity of the body. It's commonly used in a figurative sense for leading, for the activity of a leader or someone in a position of authority. We use the English word that way, don't we? We talk about the head of state. We talk about the head of the department. It means authority.

Now let me just tell you that "evangelical feminists" have redefined this word "head," and they say, "No, it doesn't mean authority. It means source or origin." If you're interested, you can, I've got a couple of massive volumes that refute that on my shelf, and I can point them out to you. Let me summarize it for you. Wayne Grudem in The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood has studied all 2,336 times the Greek word "head" occurs in all of extant Greek literature, secular Greek literature. Not one time did it ever mean source or origin. It always means authority.

That's true right here in this very book. It's used twice before this in Ephesians. Look at Ephesians 1:22, "… He [that is, God] put all things in subjection under … [Christ's] feet, and gave Him as [here's our word] head over all things to the church.…" He's in charge. He's the authority and everything is subjected to Him. This same word occurs in 4:15. Again, speaking of Christ, "… we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head [of the church, of the body], even Christ…." He's the One who directs everything. He's the One who determines where the body goes and what it does and how it functions. He's in charge.

That's the way it is with a husband. As Christ is the head of the church, the authority in the church that directs it and determines what happens with it, even so the husband is of the home and the wife. Men, that means God has placed you in the inescapable position of leadership. You're the head. You're the leader. Whether you like it or not, whether you feel like it or not, you are the head. It's a reality.

Some wives say, "Well, you know, my husband's not a leader. He doesn't lead." Ladies, based on this text, let me tell you he is leading. It may be different than my leading or some other man's leading. It may not be the best kind of leadership. It may be extremely subtle, but he's leading. He's the head. If you really want to follow him, just stop talking, and listen and watch more carefully. Wives are to submit because God has placed their husbands as the head, the authority, even as He has placed Christ as the head of the church.

Question number five – in what areas are wives to submit? In what areas? Notice verse 24, "But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." What could be clearer than that? In everything. Sheila, my wife, has taught this passage to a number of women's groups, and she tells me that every time she teaches it, the very first question she gets from women are: "But what about?" You see a problem with that question? In everything.

My favorite example, by the way, is a dear lady who came up to my wife after she taught this concept, and she said she could not submit to her husband. Sheila said, "Well, why not?" She said, "Well, my husband (are you ready for this?) feeds our kids sugary foods. It's bad for their health. He wants to do that, and I just can't let him do that." Now with all due respect, what is going to hurt that child more - eating sugary cereal for breakfast or having a mother who doesn't submit her will to God? It's like the man who said, "When my wife and I were married, we decided together that I would make all the big decisions, and she would make all the little ones. And in thirty years of marriage, there hasn't been one big decision."

Carolyn Mahaney, in her excellent book Feminine Appeal, an exposition of Titus 2 which I would recommend to you, lists some of the excuses women give for not submitting to their husbands.

All my husband ever does is watch ESPN. My husband is irresponsible with the finances. I have a husband who never disciplines the children. I am married to a man who doesn't lead our family well. [She concludes the list with], None of these excuses is admissible. Unless a moral issue is at stake [in other words, he's commanding you to do what the Bible forbids or commanding you not to do what the Bible commands, unless a moral issue is at stake], we are obliged by Scripture to submit to our husbands. As Elisabeth Elliot bluntly states, "God's Word does not give us any footnotes."

By the way, submission doesn't mean you can't graciously appeal a decision that you believe he's making, a bad decision, and that happens. Daniel 1 gives you a great sort of appeal process for an authority. But in the end, you must be willing to submit your will to his unless it's an issue of disobeying God. Carolyn Mahaney ends that section by saying this: "The question we must answer then is this: am I prepared to trust God to lead my husband to lead me?" Submission is really about confidence in the sovereignty of God, even over your husband.

How do you do that? How do you carry out this command? Well, in the context, there's only way and that's to be under the influence of the Spirit cause only He can help reverse the curse that is a part of all of our hearts and all of our marriages. Ladies, I didn't make any of this up. Check me. Look through the text. This is what it says. That is the application for every Christian wife.

But let me end by asking this. What about the rest of us? What about the single women here today? What about the men here today? What about the children? What does this passage have to say to us? It does. It has two very important implications for every person in this room this morning.

Implication number one: in these three verses we've studied, there is a powerful reminder of our need of Jesus Christ. Most of this passage compares Christ's interaction with the church as a kind of template or model for the husband-wife relationship. But I intentionally skipped over a phrase in verse 23, a statement Paul makes about Christ and the church that has absolutely no resemblance in the husband-wife relationship. Look at verse 23, "He Himself (that is, Jesus Himself) being the Savior of the body."

The word "Savior" is used twenty-four times in the New Testament. It is never used of anyone but Jesus or God. This isn't about husbands. This isn't something a husband can do. This is something we all need Christ to do. Why would he mention this in the middle of this passage on submission? Because (listen carefully) - not one of us here this morning has lived a life of perfect submission to those in authority over us. The truth is every one of us is a rebel at heart, both to God and to the authorities He's placed in our life. And this is crucial: our response to the authorities God has placed in our life alone guarantees our eternal damnation. If that was all God checked us on, if that was the only part of the test, every one of us would deserve eternal damnation.

But the gospel teaches that Jesus came into the world, and He lived a life of perfect submission to every authority – to His heavenly Father, to His earthly parents, to every legitimate human authority. And even though He never rebelled, He died as a rebel. He was crucified as a terrorist against the state. And for every sinner who will believe in Him, God credits their rebellion to Christ, and what He suffered at the cross is enough to pay the debt of our rebellion. And then God credits the believing sinner with Jesus' perfect life of submission. God will treat you as if you had perfectly obeyed every human authority He had put in your life. That's the gospel. That's the reminder that's buried in this passage on submission.

There's one other implication for all of us, for every single person here, every individual here: a reminder of the responsibility to every Christian to Jesus Christ our Lord. Notice verses 23 and 24 again, but let me reverse the wording for you so you get the point. Listen carefully, "In the same way, the husband is the head of the wife; so also, Christ is the head of every Christian. And just as every wife is to submit to her husband in everything, so every Christian is to submit to Christ."

As you've sat here this morning and heard me walk through Ephesians 5 and what a wife's responsibility is to her husband, you need to now reverse that and ask yourself, "Is that how I respond to Jesus Christ?" That's what it says. That's the model. Do you have that kind of heart of submission to Jesus Christ in everything? If you come across a text of Scripture, and it says you need to change this, are you willing to change it? If Christ, your bridegroom, says this is what I want you to do, are you willing to do it? That's for every one of us. May God give us all the grace to embrace the simple implications of this text.

Let's pray together.

Father, thank You for this passage that so cuts contrary to the culture in which we live. Thank You for convicting our hearts.

Father, I pray for those here this morning who have never given up their rebellion against You and against the rightful authorities You've put in their life. Even as they sit here this morning, they are in a state of rebellion. Father, I pray that You would cut their hearts open with the Word of God so that You can heal them. Lord, may they be willing to bow their knee to Your sovereignty in their lives and to the human authorities You've placed over them. May this be the day when they come to stop being a rebel and to become a child, Your child.

Father, I pray for all of us here, that You would help us to see the implications of this passage we've studied for every one of us as Christians – that we are all to respond to our Lord as the wives are commanded here to respond to their husbands. Lord, remind us that we are espoused to Christ, we're engaged to Christ. Help us to live in submission to Him.

And Father, I pray for all those women here today who are wives or will be someday. Father, may they embrace their role based on the creation, based on Your divine intention – not as a secondary class citizen, but Father, as a simple order of structure and rank in Your ordered world.

May they embrace it because they love their Lord Jesus Christ in whose name we pray. Amen.