Jesus on Divorce - Part 3

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Let's open our Bibles and turn tonight to Mark 10. Mark 10, and let me begin by reading to you our Lord's teaching from this passage on the issue of divorce and remarriage. Mark 10 beginning in verse 1 you follow along.

Getting up, He went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan; crowds gathered around Him again, and, according to His custom, He once more began to teach them. Some Pharisees came up to Jesus testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce His wife. And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY." But Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate."

In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again. And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man she is committing adultery."

In this passage, Jesus unfolds for us the mind of God about the issue of divorce and remarriage. There are a lot of debates, there are a lot of discussions among people in our world (secular and Christian) about the issue of divorce and the issue of remarriage. What we must do first of all is turn to the Scripture. You've heard me say many times from this pulpit the key question is never what do I think; what do you think; what does someone else think. The key question is always what does the Bible say? Let's start there with what does the Bible say.

In this passage we can reduce the perspective of Jesus very simply to this proposition. God hates divorce and will not allow it among His people, and we can add, as we'll see tonight from the rest of Jesus' teaching this addendum, with only two exceptions. God hates divorce and will not allow it among His people with only two exceptions.

Now, Jesus' teaching on the issue of divorce here in this passage is prompted by a surprising question about marriage and divorce that's raised. We talked about that. It's surprising both because of the historical context, when it happens as Jesus is on His way to the very last Passover, the Passover at which He will be killed. And also because of the cultural context. The Jewish leaders had all pretty much bought in to the view of one of the rabbis that basically you could divorce your wife for any reason at all. There really didn't need to be any major issue. You could just opt out. That was the prevailing position. And in hopes of putting Jesus on the spot; of diminishing His popularity; or perhaps exposing some flaw in His understanding of the Old Testament they raised this question. A surprising question really.

We saw a couple of weeks ago now the common sinful view of marriage and divorce. We see it coming out of the spiritual leaders of Israel's time. The Pharisees in their response to Christ that I just read for you betray a sinful propensity toward divorce that frankly continues to this day even among professing Christians. You see the Pharisees emphasized the exceptions to get out of marriage more than the solidarity and importance of marriage as an institution before God.

They quote from Deuteronomy 24; and instead of seeing Deuteronomy 24 in its context, they turned it into a pretext for divorce and remarriage. Most of them had bought into the view of Rabbi Hillel. And Rabbi Hillel taught that a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason at all. If he found someone else he liked better; if she burned his dinner; if she insulted his parents. As long as he gave her a written bill of divorce that's all the law of Moses required. That was the perspective from which they came.

That brought us in the past to our Lord's teaching on divorce and remarriage. We've already looked at this passage. Jesus asked them what Moses taught, they picked an obscure case law about if a man marries a woman and then divorces her and marries another woman, he can't go back to the first one. Jesus took them back to Genesis. Back to Genesis 1:17, Genesis 2:24, and Moses' inspired account of creation. Jesus said here is the mind of God on marriage. And we looked at this, so I won't go over it again but just to remind you in verses 6 - 8 we saw Jesus teach this:

God established the place of marriage as a part of creation. It's part of the created order.

God established the parameters of marriage. That is, male and female and only two, one man and one woman together.

God established the priority of marriage. We were to leave the other major relationship in our life, that to our parents and now be devoted to our spouse. Leave father and mother and cleave to the spouse. God established the permanence of marriage. The two become one. God joins them together, and Jesus said no man should take the prerogatives of deity and rip apart those whom God has yoked together for life.

Tonight, we come to the practical application of our Lord's teaching on divorce. That's the heart of it. He is countering a major misunderstanding in the culture, and He is tightening their understanding in a world where there was no fault divorce whatever you wanted for whatever reason, Jesus said that's not God's perspective. God hates it and will not permit it. And so, tonight, we come to the practical application of divorce and remarriage.

Look at verse 10, "In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again." Remember now they're traveling to Jesus' final Passover. They're somewhere down the Jordan Rift in what's called Perea. It's the yellow area you can sort of acclimate yourself again. Here's the Sea of Galilee up here. The Sea of Galilee here's the Jordan Rift comes down ultimately to Jerusalem. They're in this right over here on the other side of Jericho probably in the area of Perea. They were apparently staying as guests at the home of one of Jesus' followers who lived in that region. And so, when they get to the house maybe for the first time as far as we know that was the end part of their journey for that day.

When they get settled, the disciples have questions. This was typical throughout our Lord's ministry. He teaches the crowd and in private His disciples ask Him follow up questions. And, apparently, best we can piece together the life of Christ, this was only the second time in His ministry that the issue of divorce come up. More than two years earlier Jesus had raised this issue in His most famous sermon, the Sermon on the Mount recorded in Matthew. The passage is Matthew 5:31-32 which we'll look at a little later. But apparently, (what had happened two years before) either the disciples didn't fully understand Him; it didn't fully register with them; or they had just forgotten it; I don't know. But they are dumbstruck by what our Lord says.

Matthew records in Matthew 19:10 that the disciples when they got Jesus in the house, they said if the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry. Boy, if the standard's going to be that then wow that's scary. I can't just get out when I need to get out. Maybe it's better not to marry. This is the disciples. So, in private in response to His teaching to the Pharisees about the permanence of marriage, the disciples questioned Him about what this means. And specifically, apparently their questions went to the issue of remarriage. And Jesus gives them two balanced statements about the practical application of His teaching on divorce.

Jesus' application. In verse 9 you'll notice Jesus applied what He had been teaching in the previous verses. He makes it very clear: What God's joined together let no man separate. By that statement Jesus declared divorce to be contrary to the divine will and the creation design. And He essentially issued a command to His followers: Let no man divorce his spouse. So, the question of divorce was clear and settled.

But apparently one of the questions the disciples later raised privately had to do with remarriage. You see in the Jewish mind the only reason to divorce was to free the person for remarriage. Makes sense, doesn't it? In fact, the divorce certificate that was commonly used in that period of time had a provision something like this: You are free to marry any man, written to the wife. So, in response to the question of remarriage, Jesus makes two balancing statements or two balancing applications. The first one is found in verse 11 and it's this: Remarriage makes a man guilty of adultery. Look at verse 11, "And He said to them, 'Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her." Whoever.

Folks we like to believe that God has favorites. And we are one of them. And that what He doesn't like in others, He'll tolerate in us. Listen, God is not a god of partiality. How many times does He say that in the Bible? He's not a respecter of persons. He doesn't treat one person one way and another person another. Whoever, (this is a universal principle), divorces. Jesus has already established in verses 5 - 9 that divorce even without remarriage is a violation of God's will and intention in other words a sin. And now He adds that remarriage adds yet another sin and marries another woman. He legally ends the first marriage, and then he legally enters into another marriage. Jesus says even though this man is legally married to another woman, he (notice what it says), commits adultery. Even though he legally ended the first, and he legally entered another, Jesus said literally what the text says, he is committing adultery.

While he is in this second marriage, Jesus said, he is in a constant state of adultery. The Greek word that's translated adultery here occurs 27 times in the New Testament. It always refers to sexual sin by a married person with someone other than his spouse. So, notice that person that man ending a first marriage, entering a second marriage (legally ending one and legally entering another), he is committing adultery against her. That's probably a reference to the first spouse. He is committing adultery against his first wife as long as he is unrepentant in that second marriage. Now let make very clear something. There are some teachers who claim that the divorced man who's now remarried is still really married to his first spouse in the sight of God. The Bible doesn't teach that. Notice the text explicitly says that he marries another. He ended one marriage, and he married another. What our Lord means here is this. Listen carefully. The man who divorces his wife and remarries without biblical grounds bears the same moral guilt before God as if he had actually been unfaithful to his spouse while he was married. In other words, instead of that second marriage being a holy marriage, it is the moral equivalent of an ongoing extra marital affair. That's what our Lord says.

The second statement He makes comes in verse 12 and, essentially, it's this. Remarriage makes a woman equally guilty of adultery. Look at verse 12, "And if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man she is committing adultery." By the way this is the only place in the gospels where Jesus mentions the woman initiating a divorce. And the reason for that is because it rarely happened in Jewish society. It did occasionally particularly sensational cases with queens and princesses and those kinds of people. But this was not true with the Romans to whom Mark wrote. Remember Mark's writing his gospel to the Romans. And it was not uncommon for Roman women to divorce their husbands. And so, he includes this comment by our Lord which was especially appropriate for his Roman readers.

Alright, so, let's summarize what this passage teaches then about divorce and remarriage. Number one divorce ends a marriage God designed to be permanent and is a sin against God. As we saw in Malachi 2 several weeks ago, God hates divorce. It is the breech of a covenant made before God and with another person, your spouse. It is a violation of that covenant.

Secondly, remarriage following an unbiblical divorce brings the moral guilt of adultery. That seems hard to us in our culture. That seems completely out of step; and it is for the culture in which we live. Guess what? It was out of step with the culture in Jesus' time, too. It sounded every bit as revolutionary then as it does today. I can promise you there were gasps in the crowd, there were shocked people in light of what our Lord says here. Even the disciples had a hard time digesting it. The husband who unbiblically divorces his wife is guilty of committing adultery against his first wife and of causing the second wife to be guilty of adultery against his first wife as well. And that couple even though legally married continues to live in the sight of God in ongoing adultery until there is genuine repentance. But, that said, we've seen Jesus' application, but there are exceptions. The Scripture makes it clear that God does not consider all divorce to be sinful. Matthew tells us about one exception the Lord made, and Paul, as we will see, adds a second exception.

The first exception to this overarching statement of sinfulness of divorce and remarriage is sexual sin with another entity. Now, I have to word that carefully so that I'm very accurate here because I want to be clear. But let's look at the text involved. Our Lord basically makes the point that if divorce and remarriage takes place when there has been sexual sin by one marriage partner with another entity then it is not adultery. It is not inviting the judgement of God, and it is not sin. Let's look at these texts. Turn first to Matthew 5. Matthew 5 and specifically verse 31. Remember this is the Sermon on the Mount. This is some two years before the interchange we're reading about in Mark 10. "It was said ..." Jesus says "... 'Whoever sends his wife away let him give her a certificate of divorce.'"

Again, Jesus already knew this is what the rabbis taught. He's playing off of that. He's bringing out this passage they used from the Old Testament, but He's helping them understand even now what the Old Testament really taught. They had abused it. He says let me really clarify for you what it really says. Verse 32, "But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except for the reason of unchastity makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."

Now, you'll notice that the statement is in many ways the same as what we saw in Mark with one very important variation. The phrase "… except for the reason of unchastity." Keep that in mind, and turn over to Matthew 19. Matthew 19:9. Now what's important about this account is this is parallel to what we're studying in Mark 10. It happened at the same time. So, in that conversation in Mark 10 Jesus also said this. Matthew 10 I'm sorry Matthew 19:9. "And I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery." Again, that overarching absolute forbidding of divorce and remarriage. It's a sin against God. Except for immorality.

Now, in both cases both in Matthew 5 and here in Matthew 19 the Greek word is the same. It's translated differently, but it's the same word. It's "pornea." You recognize. We get the word pornography from it. But it has nothing to do really with pornography. We just get the word from it. It has to do with sexual sin, but it's not talking about pornography. The Septuagint uses this word "pornea" primarily to refer to unfaithfulness in marriage or to prostitution either adultery or prostitution.

But when you come to the New Testament it includes all sexual intercourse that the Bible forbids. That includes adultery, in other words sexual intimacy with someone other than your marriage partner. It also includes homosexuality, incest, pedophilia and beastiality. In other words, it includes all sexual intercourse with another entity. It is all inclusive. This is not what happens in the mind. This is what happens with the body. Jesus says that's the exception. When there is sexual sin by one spouse with another entity, another a person of the opposite sex, a person of the same sex, or God forbid one of those other perversions. Ok?

Now, in spite of the clarity of this exception (it's very clearly stated in both places) there are Christians who deny that there are acceptable reasons to divorce. There are Christians we would respect in many cases who teach that. In fact, if you read widely, you'll see that when you read about divorce and remarriage there are essentially four primary views, four primary Christian views about divorce and remarriage.

The first view is no divorce for any reason and no remarriage for any reason. End of statement. God absolutely completely forbids divorce, and there are no exceptions, and He absolutely completely forbids remarriage, and there are no exceptions. Historically, this has been the view of Catholicism. Some evangelicals hold this view. The most notable one that I think you would be familiar with would be John Piper.

A second view is that there is divorce (there are biblical grounds for divorce), but even though there are biblical grounds for divorce there's no legitimate remarriage. Even if your grounds for divorce are biblical, you can divorce your spouse, but you can't remarry.

A third view is that divorce and remarriage for adultery and desertion by an unbeliever are allowed. So, if either sexual sin (that's the word adultery), it's sort of all-inclusive that word "pornea" and desertion by an unbeliever. That is (and we'll talk about this in a moment) an unbeliever wants out of the marriage in both of those cases this view says you can divorce your spouse, and you can remarry without any taint of sin. This is the historic mainstream Protestant view since the Reformation. It was embodied in the Westminster Confession of Faith, and it has been historically taught by some of the greats on whose shoulders we stand. As you'll see in a moment, this is what I believe the Bible teaches; this is what our elders embrace.

The fourth view is not one we would embrace in any regard or frankly have any respect for, and that is that divorce and remarriage are available for a large number of reasons (and how many reasons and what the issues are they vary), but there are those who sort of open up the door. There's a Christian counselor here in Southlake who sent me a sort of letter to say we'd love for you to refer people to us and sent me a book he'd written in which he basically said listen you know emotional trauma is really emotional abandonment. It meets the biblical standard. And so, come on.

The most common approach (now I want to go back to the no divorce no remarriage views and specifically the first one because it is gaining some traction with believers because of men like John Piper taking that view). The most common approach by those who deny that there are acceptable divorces approach the exception clause as I just read to you, and they basically interpret it in some measure like John Piper does. There are obviously variations. But they would say first of all John Piper says the exception clause doesn't appear in the other gospel records of Mark and Luke. In other words, the stress is on absolute prohibition. And so, it can't truly be an exception since Jesus so strongly puts the absolute statements in the other gospels.

My response to that is to say why wouldn't Mark include it? Why would Mark not include the exception clauses when, according to Matthew, Jesus included it in this very same conversation. Well, we know from Matthew's gospel Jesus has already mentioned it back in the Sermon on the Mount two years before. He mentioned it in answering the disciples' question in this circumstance, and so with the disciples He's simply restating His main point. God has always intended marriage to be permanent. Remember the situation into which He's speaking. It's not one where they don't believe anybody should divorce and remarry. It's one which you can divorce and remarry for any reason. And so, of course, He is stressing the major issue, and that is God hates divorce, and our Lord will not permit it among His followers. He's stressing that overarching principle to respond to the very lax view that's part of the culture.

The second response they would have is to say that the exception clause really is not applicable to marriage; it's applicable to the betrothal period. It's talking about what happens during the betrothal period. And they argue that based on the word "pornea". It can refer to premarital sexual sin. And so, they say well that must be what it is. It must be referring to premarital sexual sin, we're talking about the betrothal period. Here's what Piper writes. "The phrase 'except for immorality' does not refer to adultery but to premarital sexual fornication which a man or woman discovers in the betrothed partner."

What's the problem in my view with that is that when you look in both contexts when the exception clause is included there is absolutely no mention of betrothal but only of marriage and divorce.

Let me talk about the exception clause. What is the nature of an exception clause? As many of you know I taught English college level and an exception clause really in any language, English or Greek, is the same. Here's how it works. If the condition is met, it negates the rest of the sentence. Let me give you an example separate from the divorce issue. Here's a sentence I wrote. Ok. If anyone drives a vehicle in Texas and exceeds the legal speed limit, except for on duty public safety officials, he is breaking the law and will be subject to a fine. Ok. There's an exception clause in the middle of that sentence. Now, what happens if the exception clause is met if the condition is met?

If you are a fireman or a police officer on duty on the way to an emergency then everything else this sentence says is negated, right? In other words, we could word it like this when that condition is met. We could say if you are an on duty public safety official, and you drive a vehicle in Texas, and if you exceed the speed limit you will not be breaking the law, and you will not be subject to a fine. That's the nature of an exception clause. If the condition is met, it negates everything else in the sentence. So let me apply that to the exception clause in Matthew.

This is true in Greek, it's true in English, it's true in Hebrew. It's true in the languages I know. I expect it's true in many others. Let's word it this way. If someone divorces his wife because of her sexual sin with another entity, and he remarries another, he is not committing adultery against her. That's the nature of an exception clause. If the condition is met, it negates the rest of the sentence. That's what Jesus is saying here. The exception our Lord gave as biblical grounds for divorce was sexual sin carried out physically with another person or entity.

But there's another exception that Paul gives to us. Not only is there the fact that sexual sin with another entity, but there is abandonment by an unbeliever. I want you to turn to 1 Corinthians 7. First Corinthians 7 and look at verse 12. Paul says, "But to the rest [what I'm about to say] I say, not the Lord…." Now that doesn't mean: look this doesn't have as much weight as what Jesus said. You know like the people who just think the red-letter part of their Bible is all that really matters.

That's not what Paul is saying here. He is saying the Lord didn't comment on this. I'm about to tell you something that the Lord didn't comment on. It still bears the weight of an apostle of Jesus Christ. He has been officially sent; He is writing under the inspiration of the Spirit of God. So, it's no less important than the red-letter portions. Jesus is still speaking just through His apostle. But our Lord on earth didn't comment on this issue so Paul does. "But to the rest I say not the Lord that if any brother ..." ok we're talking about a believer now "... if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her." Ok. She wants to stay in the marriage. She wants the marriage even though he's a believer she's an unbeliever, then the believer needs to stay in that marriage. Verse 13, "And a woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away." So, either way male or female, if you're a believer and in a marriage, and the unbelieving partner wants to stay, then don't divorce them. It's pretty clear. Why? Verse 14, "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy."

In other words, there is an influence for God in the lives of those unbelievers. There's benefit. Who knows? Maybe they'll come to faith. Now watch verse 15, "Yet if the unbelieving one leaves let him leave. The brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace." And then he explains in verse 16 why you should stay together if they want to stay together. "For how do you know, oh wife, whether you will save your husband and how do you know, oh husband, whether you will save your wife?" And the same thing is true when they want to leave. You don't know. And so, Paul says here is the directive.

Now, notice the conditions that have to be met for this to be true. First of all, one spouse has to be a Christian. Ok? That's the first condition. Right? That's clear in the text.

Second condition is the other spouse is not a Christian. You say, well wait a minute, how do we know they're not a Christian? How do you get the label of an unbeliever here in this text? Well, in the Bible you get the label of an unbeliever a couple of different ways. Either the person doesn't profess or claim to be a believer. They say I'm not a Christian, I don't have any interest in following Christ. Or he claims or professes to be a Christian, but he's gone through the entire process of Matthew 18, has remained unrepentant, and now according to Jesus is to be treated like an unbeliever whatever he may claim. Ok? So, one spouse is a Christian, the other spouse is an unbeliever.

The third condition is the unbeliever wants the marriage to end. Paul doesn't say why. It may be because of the Christian's faith; that happens. We have a dear friend who we knew in California. You may know him if you listen to any classical guitar. His name is Chris Parkening, and when he became a Christian, his wife was an unbeliever, and she made life miserable for him (his first wife) and ultimately wanted out of the marriage. And it was because of his faith. That happens. But Paul doesn't say that's the only reason here. It may be because the man is involved in a sinful relationship and wants to pursue it. The reason doesn't matter. The key is he wants out of the marriage. He may actually physically leave, or he may not physically leave. Maybe he stays because he wants to protect his interest on the house, or maybe he doesn't want to be the one to initiate the divorce, but he unequivocally makes it clear that he or she wants out of the marriage. If those conditions are met Paul says in verse 15, look at it, "... if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave."

You know we say that the Bible doesn't demand divorce, and in the case of adultery that's true. It's merely an option. There can be forgiveness and reconciliation, the marriage can be restored. God's a great example of that isn't He in Hosea when He talks about Israel who was unfaithful to Him as it were under every tree, with every false god that came along. He divorced her, but he couldn't let her go. He sought her out much as Hosea sought out Gomer in that wonderful parable in Hosea. So, there can be that reconciliation.

But in the case of an unbeliever who wants out, Paul gives a command: Let him leave. And then he says, "The brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases." What's bondage? What are the only bonds in this passage? The bonds of marriage. Why does God allow this exception? Look down at verse 15. Because God has called us to peace. When an unbeliever wants out of the marriage, trying to preserve that marriage at all costs only produces more what? Conflict. God has called us to peace. So, while divorce was not God's original design for marriage when the unbeliever wants out, Paul says let the marriage end.

Those are the two biblical exceptions to Jesus' overarching statement that divorce is sin, and God hates it, and remarriage causes you to commit adultery. The two exceptions are when the spouse you are married to is unfaithful with another entity. They are sexually unfaithful to the marriage.

And secondly, when the unbelieving spouse says I'm done. I want out. You can ransack your Bible for other reasons, and you won't find them. Historically, this is what the church has taught. It's what the Bible teaches, and it's what we must embrace as well.

Now, let's come to some application. Let me start with those who have never been married. If you're here tonight, and you've never been married, there are two possibilities. One is that you have the gift of singleness. Read 1 Corinthians 7. That's a different message for a different time. But if that's true, listen you are not a second-class citizen. It's true that in God's purpose, by and large, He intends marriage. But for those He doesn't intend it, that's not a second-class position. That is His best. For others, maybe you hope to be married. If you're here tonight, you're not married; you've never been married, but you hope to be, commit yourself now as a disciple of Jesus Christ to what He has taught us and that is marriage is intended by God to be permanent. Til death do us part is not something manmade. That is a divine command. Determine now that that is how you will enter marriage. I see even professing Christian young people enter marriage with a very cavalier attitude. Well, you know if it doesn't work out, (they would never say this or at least I hope they wouldn't), but with a cavalier attitude that essentially says you know if this doesn't work out, I don't have to be that careful going in because if it doesn't work out, hey there's always a back door. Not if you are disciple of Jesus Christ. Not if you are going to take Him seriously.

Let's move on. What about those who are married now with no divorce in your background. Commit yourself to embrace the permanence of marriage in your own relationship. Right now, sitting here commit yourself that unless the exceptions are met you will never look to get out of your marriage. Whatever problems may come; whatever difficulties may come; those can be addressed. Listen, you know I have people say to me I you don't understand. You don't understand the way my husband sins against me.

Listen there are ways to deal with that. Come talk to the elders of your church. We will deal with that. We will talk to your husband. We will confront him with his sin. But don't divorce him. You don't have biblical grounds. If you feel you are in physical danger, and sometimes that's a reality, then get out of danger. Call the police, and have him arrested. Call the elders, and let us confront him with his sin. But don't disobey Christ and go pursue a divorce.

Let me warn you by the way. Don't constantly be throwing around the divorce option either in your mind or as a threat in your arguments. You know unfortunately we get into patterns. We want to hurt that person when we get into an argument and we can say, well I think I'll just go get a divorce. I think I'll just end this marriage. I just want out. Listen, the more often you use that kind of language, the more likely you will eventually pursue it. James calls the tongue a rudder. You know what that means? Your tongue will actually directs the path you will go. You say it enough, and you will end up doing it.

Let's move on. Another application. Because I know there are several different groups here, and I want to try to cover each group. Maybe you're sitting here tonight, and this is very uncomfortable, and I am certainly sorry for that. That's not my intention. I'm just trying to teach you the Scripture. Maybe you sit here, and you say look I'm divorced, and my divorce didn't meet those biblical grounds. Well obviously, if the divorce was before Christ, then what does Paul say in 2 Corinthians 5, "If any man be in Christ..." what? "He's a new creation." Old things are gone. They're in the past. If that divorce, regardless of the reason, was before Christ, then it has been forgiven washed away in the blood of Christ's sacrifice.

But that's not always true. Sometimes a divorce comes after we profess Christ. And that divorce was not for the exceptions our Lord gave us. It was without biblical grounds. You need tonight to be willing to admit before God that what I have shown you clearly from the Scripture is true. That divorce is a sin against God and against His divine design for marriage. And you must not take it lightly. At the same time, we serve a God Who is gracious, Who is lavish in His forgiveness.

If you will come to Him before your head hits your pillow tonight, and you will on your knees plead for His forgiveness for violating the standard He set in His Word, you will find Him to be nothing but gracious and forgiving. That's what He said, isn't it? I love those statements of Scripture like 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sin...." the word is "homologeo", if we say the same thing about our sin God would. In other words, if we judge our own sin before God like God would judge it then "... He is faithful...." I love that.

Why is He faithful? Because He's promised to do this. He's promised to forgive. If we'll repent; if we'll come to Him and repent of our sin; He's promised so, He'll be faithful to that promise. And at the same time, He'll be just. You say how can God be just to forgive something He forbids? Because if you're in Christ it was paid for on the cross. There's forgiveness. As with all sin there is forgiveness. If you will repent you can experience God's full and complete and permanent forgiveness. You say well what do I do if I'm sinfully divorced but not remarried? Sinfully divorced, but I'm still single. I'm not remarried.

Well, seek reconciliation with your former spouse if possible. Now what do I mean by if possible. Well, for example if you're a Christian, and your former spouse is an unbeliever, then you can't pursue reconciliation. Now you would be compounding your sin. You'd be marrying an unbeliever, going back and pursuing a relationship with an unbeliever. Maybe your former spouse is remarried in which case it's not possible. Maybe your former spouse has died. It's not possible. But seek reconciliation with your former spouse if possible. You say why do I say that? First Corinthians 7. Look at it if you're still there in that text. Look at 1 Corinthians 7:10, "But to the married I give instructions not I but the Lord...." I think he's probably saying, the Lord taught about this, and I think He's alluding to what we studied in Mark 10 and that interchange. "That the wife should not leave her husband…."

If you are a follower of Christ, don't divorce your husband. And vice versa. "But if she does leave ..." in other words a divorce has taken place with a follower of Christ "... she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband." And then Paul adds (by the way I mean the other way around, too). Same thing with the husband. , in other words, if you're a believer, and your spouse is a believer, and you're divorced, and neither of you have remarried, then Paul says you have two options. Remain unmarried or be reconciled to each other. Very straight forward. You can only pursue remarriage if you are sinfully divorced but not remarried. You can only pursue remarriage to someone else if reconciliation becomes impossible. Your former spouse dies, your former spouse remarries, or your former spouse proves to be an unbeliever either by profession or by church discipline.

And can I say this? I have to say it because it's what the Scripture says. If you are considering marrying someone who divorced unbiblically and reconciliation for that person is still possible. They can be reconciled to their former spouse, and you're going to go ahead and marry them, God considers you to be committing adultery against that former spouse. Why do I say that? Two passages. Matthew 5:32. "Whoever ..." look at the end of the verse, "Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." In other words, if there were no biblical grounds, you marry that person, you're involving yourself in that adultery. The same thing in Luke 16. Our Lord ends that with the same thing. He who marries one who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. If there aren't biblical grounds and that person can still be reconciled to their former spouse, then you are committing adultery as well.

Let's move on. Divorce without biblical grounds. Sinfully divorced, but you've already remarried. There was a sinful divorce no biblical grounds after Christ we're talking about now. Again, before Christ it's all gone, it's all washed away. The record is completely new. We're talking about after Christ, sinfully divorced and have remarried. Understand the magnitude of your sin according to Mark 10 both the sin of divorce and the adultery by remarriage. Secondly express repentance towards God and seek His forgiveness. And then seek forgiveness from your former spouse. Do that as I say here in a wise way that doesn't open you for temptation or accusation. Be circumspect. Don't be alone with her or him. Whatever.

And commit heart and soul to be faithful to your current marriage. In other words, you've already remarried; you stay in that marriage; you seek forgiveness from God, forgiveness from the spouse you sinned against, forgiveness from your current spouse for bringing that person into this whole adulteress situation. and there can be forgiveness and cleansing. And that marriage in which you are now involved once forgiveness has been granted by God is a holy and pure marriage.

Let's deal with another category. Divorced with biblical grounds. I know there are people here who are divorced with biblical grounds. Your spouse was unfaithful to you. Or an unbeliever wanted out. What do you do? Well, first of all, although you are not responsible for ending the marriage, you don't bear any guilt for ending the marriage. That's gone. Confess any sins that may have contributed to the problems in your marriage. Look, we're all sinners. We contribute to issues in relationships, right? Confess those. Confess those to God and seek His forgiveness.

Next, don't allow any false guilt about the divorce itself and remarriage. What does our Lord teach? Embrace that as true. What He said is true except for these reasons. And that means those reasons God allows divorce and remarriage. And so don't allow false guilt to build in your heart. Don't allow others to put false guilt there. Know what the Bible says, and stand on what the Bible says. If you haven't remarried, just make sure you pursue any potential future marriage carefully and with the counsel of the elders. Obviously, if you're going to pursue a marriage, the person must be a Christian, and they must not be living in any unrepentant open pattern of sin. Because we're not even supposed to have a meal with a person like that much less marry one.

Let me leave this passage tonight with a couple of resources. I know I haven't covered every situation. There's no way I can do that in the short time we have so if you're interested and want to read more about this a couple of resources. And I'll encourage our bookstore to pick these up as well. I didn't give them any warning, so they may not have them now, but we'll get them. John MacArthur's book, The Divorce Dilemma is a very helpful resource. Also Jay Adams book Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible. And finally, John Murray's classic book, it's a little bit heavy sledding, a little bit heavy reading, but it's thorough on divorce, and finally, if you're interested in kind of these views, I talked about Thomas Edgar has compiled edited by Wayne House Essays in Divorce and Remarriage: Four Christian Views in which each view will be presented by a proponent and will be rebutted. So if you're interested in studying that further you can do that.

Some concluding thoughts, and we'll be done. Very quickly.

Number one. You know the standard Jesus establishes here is a reminder why all of us need the gospel. In some cases, we have sinned against our spouses physically or by divorce or by remarriage in every single case we have sinned against our spouses with our minds. We are sinners and we've fallen short of that standard God has set for moral purity which is the moral purity of Jesus Christ. And that's why we all need the gospel. That's why we need Him to live the life we should have lived. And we need Him to die in our place.

Secondly, God hates divorce so our Lord will not permit it among His followers except with those two exceptions.

Thirdly, your marriage matters to Christ. Buried right here in Mark's gospel right before the Passion week is a long section where Jesus deals with divorce and remarriage. Your marriage matters to your Lord. Don't take it lightly. It may be contrary to the culture; it may be contrary even to our own desires, but as Jesus' disciples we must commit to follow His teaching wherever it leads.

And finally, when it comes to those who are divorced, avoid self-righteousness. We should uphold the biblical standard; we should practice church discipline on those who persist in breaking the standard, but we must also be eager to forgive and to receive all of those who are repentant for whatever sins they might have committed. As a church we need to be open and embracing of those who are repentant whatever the sin may be including unbiblical divorce and unbiblical remarriage. And we don't look down on them as second-class citizens. Instead, we receive them, we love them. We care for them as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Let's pray together.

Father, help us to care as much about our marriages as our Lord does. Help us to be as serious about marriage and what it teaches; what it teaches the people around us about our Lord and His love for His church; what it teaches the people around us about the church's submission to Christ and love for Him. Lord help us to take the covenant of marriage seriously.

Father, I pray also for Your grace. Lord, may those here who have sinned in various ways against the standard our Lord has set may they turn to You, oh God, in true repentance and find You as You always are with open arms eager to receive, eager to forgive those who will come.

Father, help us as a church to have that same spirit toward those who acknowledge their sin before You and turn from it. Father, we thank You for this clear teaching of Your Word. Help us to embrace it whatever the culture around us might say.

We pray in Jesus Name and for His glory. Amen.